5-13

I did believe that I was in love. I wasn't supposed to be, nor had I ever had much expertise in feelings, so I could not be sure. But what else could describe the elation I felt whenever I saw her? What else could explain my desire to be near and please her? Her name was Persephone and she lived on the third floor of my building. She was kind and polite, even to me and others of my kind when she had no need to be. We didn't have any feelings, so she didn't need to spare them, but she always acted as if we were her equal.

It felt nice when she talked to me. I did not feel as if I was composed of spinning cogs and twisting wire, nor of flesh and bone as she was. I simply felt like me. As if I had a soul. Could that be possible? Could under all of this synthetic skin and interchangeable parts be something that could love and be worth loving?

After a time I could bare it no longer. I had to know her. 

She entered the elevator that afternoon while digging around for something in her purse. 

"Floor three?" I asked pressing the appropriate button. She looked up surprised. 

"How did you know?" she asked. "You are not my normal operator..."

"It is my job to know," I replied. "I am 5-13 and I normally work in customer services."  

"You're a cyborg? I never would have guessed. Are you a newer model?"

"No ma'am. I'm a 230-Starfast. Many models have since surpassed me. Why do you ask?"

"I'm not sure... You seem more intelligent than the others. No, that's not right either. You're don't seem more intelligent... you seem more... alive."

"That is high praise. I like to think of myself as alive."

"But how do you know? How can you tell?" She inquired as she stepped closer. She did not mean to be rude, she was merely curious. 

"Obviously my definition of life can never be the same as yours. But I am here, and I can feel myself. And if I can feel and want life, surely that is a sign that I am correct?"

The elevator dinged and the doors opened. Persephone looked regretfully at the door, and then back at me.

"I don't suppose you could take a break now? I would love to continue talking," She asked.

I should have said no.  I was not supposed to stop working.

"A small break wouldn't hurt."  I said getting out of the elevator with her. She smiled, and led me to, and then inside her apartment. It was very plain, and looked lived in. I absolutely loved it. It could not be more different from the small cubicle in which I shut down in for the night. 

"Would you like a drink?" She asked.

"No thank you. Unfortunately I cannot consume food."

She blushed.

"Forgive me, I forgot."

"There is nothing to forgive."

"Why do you think," she began slowly, "that you are so different form all the rest?"

"I do not know. Just as you do not know why you have grown into the woman you are. It simply is. The first time I ever knew I was different was when I realized I felt love."

"Love?" she asked.

Oops. 

"Um, yes. Is this your family?" I asked, referring to the pictures on the mantelpiece. She would not be daunted.

"Who did you love?" she pressed.

"A human." 

"Does she know?"

"No." 

"What's her name?"  

I looked away.

"Tell me," she pleaded. 

I sighed and contemplated my answer before replying. 

"You."

"Me?" she gasped. 

"Yes," I nodded.

She bit her lip and averted her gaze. I looked away too, embarrassed. It was a strange, new, and  regretful emotion. I wasn't sure I liked it. 

"Can I try something?" She asked. I looked back at her confused. 

"Anything."

She leaned in, and it was all I could do to keep from rearing back in surprise.

"Don't move," She whispered. Her mouth pressed against mine and a static charge ran down my back. Or was that... something else? Something human? Her tongue made its way into my mouth and there was no denying the shock now. This time it wasn't human. Persephone gasped and her body convulsed as the electricity shot its way through her. I drew back in horror and she fell to the ground. I couldn't move for a long time and she didn't either. Was she okay? I reached down and touched underneath her jaw. I didn't perceive her pulse. I jumped back and hit the wall. No! No, no, no! I began fighting for air I did not need and my eyes screwed up in nonexistent tears.I sank to the ground and held my face in my hands. For the first time I no longer wanted to feel. For the first time in my existence, I wanted to be the soulless machine I was...